March 2, 2020

Emotional Realm

– Handling emotions & feelings –

Hi there!

Welcome to the emotional realm and the first dimension of wellness we will travel through. Please note that all wellness dimensions are intertwined, and as I discuss each, there will be references to other realms and links to visit those resources as well. Wellness depends on the successful completion of goals in each realm.

I’m sure you all know what emotions are, you experience them every day. You may receive a promotion at work and feel “on top of the world,” or you may experience sadness due to the death of a loved one. The ability to deal with feelings positively and constructively builds emotional wellness. Both good and bad feelings need an adequate and healthy way to be expressed. For example, getting a promotion is awesome but constantly bragging on it can be offsetting to others. Death is traumatizing and one must go through the grief process effectively to find wellness. Other life situations, such as divorce, may require one to go through the grief process as well. There are typically five stages of the grief process but all stages may not be experienced. People go through the stages as they need to.

The Stages of Grief and loss are as followed:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance.

Emotions affect our judgments and come with a feeling of pleasure or pain. There are different theories on the number of basic emotions people have.

ThePaul Ekman presents six basic emotions:

Happiness
Sadness
Fear
Surprise
Anger
Disgust

ThePaul Ekman presents six basic emotions:

1-2. Joy & Sadness

3-4. Anger & Fear

5-6. Trust & Distrust

7-8. Surprise & Antcipation

These core emotions are the foundation or building blocks for more complex emotions and
feelings. Each core emotion has an emotional family where several similar emotions are included in a hierarchy but are still different and independent emotions. Further, emotions combine to form more complex feelings.

For example, joy + trust = love.

We learn at an early age how to cope with or deal with our emotions. Although we learn many of our coping skills from our parents and other caregivers, we may have predispositions that may affect our ability to handle emotions adequately. Genetics account for many personality traits such as being outgoing, happy, sociable, emotionally reactive, intelligent, and curious. However, each of us is born with a distinct temperament that contributes to what we need from our environment and the way we are treated by others.

For example, a curious or outgoing child may need higher levels of interaction from his environment and people around him compared to a more introverted and content child.

Thus causing each child to be treated differently in the same environment. Moreover, a child who has a predisposition to aggressive behavior may invoke negative responses from parents who also have an aggressive predisposition. This causes a snowball of negative responses from parents towards the child which causes the child’s brain to grow differently. In contrast, a child who has been severely abused can overcome the negative wiring if he is raised by caregivers who are loving and kind. Human behavior seems to be determined by environmental stimuli and not genetics.

According to Nigel Barber, Ph.D., “Personality may be genetically heritable to some degree, but human behavior never is.”

Emotions are instinctive and normal reactions to life situations and circumstances. Learning how to cope with negative feelings and embracing positive feelings are important tools that will help us in our journey for emotional wellness.

Regardless, if you feel like you need to work on healing your emotional realm or not,
incorporating coping skills/self-care activities can greatly benefit

your life.

Check out the small guide covering coping & self-care activities.